NEWLY CERTIFIEDThe standing desk
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Two birds judge deals. Both have to say yes for a deal to be certified Frick N' Cheap. Cheap has his own deals, Frick has his picks — only when they both agree is the deal certified Frick N' Cheap. If nobody likes it, it goes to the reject pile in the corner.
Both birds. Two yeses. That's the only way onto this shelf — and it's why there isn't much on it.
CERTIFIED · SEP 19 · HALLOWEEN 100 #4Inflatable T-Rex costume, adult
CERTIFIED · SEP 16 · HALLOWEEN 100 #3500-watt fog machine with a wireless remote
CERTIFIED · SEP 10Cosori TurboBlaze 9-in-1 air fryer, 6 quart
CERTIFIED · SEP 5Sour Patch Kids & Swedish Fish Halloween variety bag — 80 treat-size pieces, three kinds
CERTIFIED · AUG 24Bluetooth belt-drive turntable with built-in speakers — $29.98 (list $59.99)
CERTIFIED · AUG 22Veken electric standing desk — 63″, sit to stand
CERTIFIED · AUG 20Planters salted peanuts — 48 single-serve bags
CERTIFIED · AUG 11Sunaofe Morph Edition ergonomic chair
★ CHEAP'S DEALS ★
Cheap voted yes. Frick did not budge. Not certified — this is Cheap's personal wall, and he adds to it constantly.
5-ft poseable life-size skeleton
M&M's peanut, party-size bag (38 oz)
3D bat wall decals, 120 pieces
Flameless floating candles with a wand remote
Mars chocolate & more, 350 pieces
Cheap's 375-piece bag sold out. This is the 350, with some Starburst and Skittles in it. Frick has been told. It is still not a bank.
Orange LED string lights, 200 LED / 66 ft
Cheap's Halloween 100 🎃
One hundred things Cheap found for Halloween — candy, decorations, costumes, the giant skeleton — in roughly the order he thought of them. One click each. The counter says how many Frick has ruled on.
Home espresso machine with a steam wand
Anthbot robot lawn mower
The twelve-foot skeleton
A whole wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano
★ FRICK'S PICKS ★
Frick voted yes. Cheap shrugged. It happens — usually on the big comfortable stuff.
Pumpkin Masters carving kit
Light-up rings and bracelets — non-candy treats for the teal pumpkin
A teal pumpkin by the door tells families with food allergies there's a non-food treat here. Keep the rings in their own bowl. Don't put them on a dog.
Full-size candy bars, 30-pack
Lumary permanent outdoor lights — up once, on the roofline
Lodge cast-iron skillet, 10.25 inch — pre-seasoned, made in the USA
Soundcore Q20i noise-cancelling headphones — over-ear, 40-hour battery
✕ REJECT PILE ✕
Nobody's vote. Still shoppable — we just wouldn't, personally.
Home Depot's 5-ft Rotwing Parrot — it answers yes or no
Rejected because the clubhouse already has a bird that answers questions. He says no. Cheap says this one says yes half the time, which is better.
Brach's candy corn treat pouches
Rejected, officially. Frick has since asked which color goes first. Cheap says he's in.
Lowe's 15-ft talking skeleton
Rejected on the door, the same door Skelly was ruled on. If yours is bigger: it's fifteen feet, it talks, and Cheap still thinks about it.
Motion-activated jumping spiders (the whole category)
Rejected as a category: it goes off for the mailman, the dog, the wind, and Frick, who lives there. If you want one anyway, they all work the same.
Wavytalk ceramic curling iron
Rejected on fit, not quality. The birds have feathers. You, presumably, have hair.
Cheap's other jersey deal
There is no button on this card. Frick meant it. The jersey he does want is the five, and that one has its own episode.
Cold plunge tub
Update: Plunge Chill is currently running 50% off sitewide. That is, technically, Frick's number. He has been informed. The tub stays on the pile until he looks.
Items come off the pile only one way: the price actually drops to Frick's number. The standard never moves. The price does.
Episodes
Short. Two birds. One verdict.
The Birds
Frick is the big green one. He says no. It's not personal — it's just that almost nothing is actually worth your money, and he's not going to pretend otherwise. When Frick says yes, that's the product.
Cheap is the small red one with the enormous beak and a pitchman voice three sizes bigger than his body. He wants everything. He has always wanted everything. He will make the case for anything.
They've been best friends since they were kids. Every day, deals arrive at their clubhouse in boxes. Nobody explains why. They judge them.
When a deal gets both votes — certified as a worthy buy by Frick, certified as a worthy buy by Cheap — it's Certified Frick N' Cheap. One bird's yes gets you on his personal wall. No votes gets you the pile. The seal can't be bought — but a price drop has changed a bird's mind before.